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- Letterman & Leno Late-Night California Campaign Jokes
Monday Night October 6
Leno
Today of course you know is Yom Kippur, it’s a day set aside for atonement, except in California where it’s a day set aside for libel, slander, and defamation of character.
Are you all ready for the big election tomorrow? I’m still not sure who to vote for, you’ve got Arnold who groped a few women, or Davis who screwed the whole state. So I don’t know what to do.
Today Arnold revealed his heath care plan - every woman gets a free breast exam.
You now I know why they call this election a recall. Suddenly women are going, "Yeah, I know he touched me thirty years ago. I just recalled it now!”
More allegations about Arnold came out today; turns out he was at a Democratic fund-raiser a few years ago with that his wife Maria made him go to, you know because she’s obviously a big Democrat. And I guess as Arnold reached under the table to touch a woman, he felt Clinton’s hand coming from the other side. They locked.
See people are really split on this thing, like Jamie Lee Curtis the actress. She said when they made the movie "True Lies,” Arnold was a perfect gentleman. Although Tom Arnold said that he did grab his breasts.
Arnold was not the only one, today six inflatable women claimed they were groped by Cruz Bustamante.
Hey Kev, do you know what Gray Davis is going to be for Halloween? Unemployed.
Letterman
(opening of show) While you were applauding five more women just accused Arnold of groping them.
This seems to happen every month. The oldest woman in America passed away today. She was 115. 115, that’s amazing. I’m just happy that she was around long enough to see the new fall shows on CBS.
Now that’s she’s gone the big question is who will get her Simon and Garfunkle tickets.
This is crazy. Right here in New York, over the weekend a guy gets mauled by a tiger in his one room apartment. He had a 400 pound tiger living in his apartment. When the police questioned him about it he had a good excuse though. He said it was the only cat big enough to scare New York City rats.
Even though we’re not in California are you like me and excited about the recall election tomorrow? The whole thing is just crazy. Today Arnold changed his campaign slogan. Did you know this? The new slogan is "win one for the groper!”
The "LA Times” says that six women have been groped by Arnold. Just two more and he can be an honorary priest.
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