Dear Santa - An Early XMAS List
Dear Santa Claus:
I thought I'd get a head start on my Christmas wish list. I've been a very good boy this year and have done my part to honor President Bush's request to become more involved in my community. I think you'd be proud of me. Therefore, I want a bunch of cool stuff this year for Christmas! Here's my list:
1. Please bring democracy and stability to the Middle East. There will be no better way to combat terrorism than by introducing democracy to the region. We've witnessed the euphoria that freedom brings in Iraq and we removed a regime that supported terrorism. This will have a long-lasting effect on the region and will help to bring about necessary reform in neighboring Iran and Syria. The Saudis will also be forced to confront terrorism within their own borders and reforms need to be enacted there as well. It makes sense that the United States should show others the way to freedom and provide aid to those oppressed in order to create stability and combat terrorism.
2. Please watch over President Bush. He has a difficult road ahead of him yet has proven time and again that he is up to the task. He is a man of action and great moral character. The War on Terror will be a long one and the majority of Americans are behind him. Thank God we have a strong leader like him!
3. Please end the PC madness. Political correctness is trying to ruin this country. It's time for a new atmosphere in this country, one in which differences of opinion can be discussed without some group complaining about being discriminated against. This is the 21st century; we've evolved as a country and are more tolerant than ever. It's time for the politicians and their constituents to examine what is wrong with this country and fix it. We should be able to dialogue about issues without fear of repercussion just for bringing them up.
4. Could you possibly see to it that China handles the North Koreans? Come on Santa, it's their own backyard, for crying out loud! However, if we must, let's do it swiftly before it gets out of hand.
5. Operation Cuban Freedom. Let's light that candle! It's time once and for all to use the might of the United States military to bring an end to the regime of Fidel Castro. We've enjoyed watching Iraqis celebrate freedom this year, so let's see how Cubans celebrate. Life in Cuba must be pretty bad if people are willing to swim in shark-infested waters to get out of there. I think the gift of freedom will be the gift that keeps on giving, as Cousin Eddie used to say.
6. The continued self-destruction of the Democratic Party! It's been a great year for this. I just hope you'll honor my wish for me to be able to enjoy this for the entire year as well as in 2004. Would it be too much to ask for more inane rantings from the likes of Senator Robert "KKK" Byrd and Tom Daschle? I also see that Democrats are now claiming President Bush is weak on terrorism! Oh Santa, the more outrageous their statements become, the more I realize that this is one gift you are definitely gonna bring me. I promise, I will be very good if you'll honor this request.
7. No let up by the media in reporting the above-mentioned self-destruction of the Democrats. If they let up, then I'll have to go back to reading the comics for my daily dose of humor.
8. Allow us to honor our military. We need some big parades for our troops returning home. It's the only way to honor these heroes for their service abroad plus it sends a powerful message to the world that the American public supports its troops. On another note, please send more volunteers to the VA Medical Centers. These vets generally don't have anyone to visit them and it's wonderful to see how happy they are when they see a friendly face.
9. Would it be too much to ask for our nation's borders to be sealed? Our borders are too porous and we need to have troops positioned there to ensure that terrorists and other undesirables don't sneak into our country. Besides, the impact illegal immigration is having on our infrastructure is crippling.
10. Finally, please give us some fresh faces in Hollywood. Please make sure they aren't so silly as to believe they are anything more than entertainers. Some of these old has-beens and their fondness for leftist causes need to go into retirement. Let's see some celebrities that aren't ashamed to love America! I'm sure there are plenty of talented individuals out there just waiting for their chance.
Here's a stocking stuffer:
President Bush's proposed tax cut. I would love to get some of my tax money back plus I'm being taxed to death! I promise you that my wife will see that it gets spent on more stuff that we really don't need. She's such a great American; she really wants to do her part to help the ailing economy. She will take that money and give the economy a boost by going SHOPPING! If the Democrats feel that President Bush's tax plan is so bad, wouldn't it make more sense for them to let it pass? That way, from a political stance, they can use it against the Republicans in order to prove that they were right. The simple fact is they are opposed to the tax cuts in order to keep the economy grounded. They can then use the economy as an issue for 2004. Please make sure Democrats get lots of coal in their stockings!
Finally, I feel I would be remiss if I did not thank you for some of the early presents you've given me. One of my favorites this year has been the absence of Paul Begala's bulbous head on my TV screen. Another was Operation Iraqi Freedom, which sent a powerful message to the world that the United States means business when it comes to dealing with terrorism. It also made us aware of who is with us and who is against us. Finally, the very best present was seeing President Bush address the troops on the USS Abraham Lincoln.
Thank you Santa!