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- Snappy Answers To Stupid Antiwar Soundbites

Snappy Answers To Stupid Antiwar Soundbites

By Tom Adkins

Use this handy guide to tell you which snappy answer to
give whenever a liberal uses stupid soundbites to help Saddam
Hussein.

1) “The United States is taking unilateral action against
Iraq.”

So far, it`s a 90-member worldwide "unilateral" coalition.

2) “We are in a rush to war.”

An 11-year rush?

3) “Tough inspections can disarm Saddam Hussein
without our having to invade Iraq.”

Eleven years of inspections have done wonders so far.

4) “We should let the inspectors finish their job.”

We did. They didn`t. We will.

5) “Why fight? The Iraqi military is weaker than in 1991.”

But their biological and chemical weapons are much more
dangerous.

6) “There`s no proof of those weapons.”

We know they have `em, we know they hide `em, and we
have tape recordings and photographs. What more is needed? An
Iraqi rocket in Martin Sheen`s pocket?

7) “If we invade, Saddam might use those weapons of
mass destruction against us.”

I thought you said Iraq didn`t have them?

8) “But terrorists might attack if we invade Iraq.”

Oh — so if we don`t attack Iraq, terrorists will never strike
again?

9) “We shouldn`t go to war without a UN resolution.”

ANOTHER resolution? What about the last 16
resolutions? Shall we use them as wallpaper? Or shall we use the
same resolutions Bill Clinton used in Bosnia?

10) “We don`t have a real declaration for war.”

It`s called "Joint Congressional Resolution #114.

11) “We are giving $20 billion to Turkey. We could use
that money at home.”

OK, we`ll use that money to strengthen our Iraqi border
with Wyoming.

12) “If North Korea has nuclear weapons, why aren`t we
invading them first?”

Uh, hello, isn`t that the point?

13) “European leaders are against the war.”

The Reichstag wasn`t attacked. The Grande Place wasn`t
attacked. The Kremlin wasn`t attacked. And the Jerry Lewis
Lifetime Achievement Museum wasn`t attacked. America was
attacked. And besides, even with the tantrums of France, Belgium
and Germany, only three European nations aren`t willing to defend
freedom. The rest of Europe is with America.

14) “The French don`t support the war.”

Oh — did they surrender already?

15) “Germany objects to this war.”

Germany objected to Reagan`s "attitude" toward the Soviet
Union. Of course, they objected to our presence in 1943 as well.

16) “Belgians are against the war.”

I can live without waffles and ice cream.

17) “The Russians don’t support the war.”

They’re still angry over Reagan`s brilliant Cold War
victory.

18) “Polls show Europeans are against this war.”

Polls show Europeans believe their freedom was achieved
by endlessly debating in marvelous dining halls, conveniently
forgetting their right to be pompous blowhards was granted

with American blood, not fabulous wine and Brie.

19) “We should build a coalition with our friends.”

With friends like these, who needs enemies?

20) “What happens if we can`t build a United Nations
coalition?”

Who cares?

21) “But the UN is the world`s most respected governing
body.”

Not as respected as the U.S. military.

22) “America has always waited until enemies attacked.”

Now that oceans can`t hold back enemies, pre-emptive war
is forever a necessity.

23) “War will cost billions!”

So — how much is YOUR city worth?

24) “President Bush says he`s willing to violate the 1976
executive order forbidding assassinations of foreign leaders.”

As soon as the ink is dry on rescinding that idiotic order,
will someone please pull the trigger? The line forms to the right.”

25) “Many senators don`t support Bush.”

Are you speaking of the senators from Bordeaux?

26) “Tom Daschle says George Bush has a ‘credibility
gap’”

When was the last time we came to Tom Daschle for the
truth?

27) “These problems didn`t happen under Clinton.”

Actually, they happened. But Clinton ignored them. Now
Bush will clean up his mess.

28) “But Clinton didn`t start a war.”

Not unless his girlfriend was testifying before Congress.

29) “The first President Bush should have taken out
Hussein in `91.”

That 1991 UN resolution forbade a march on Baghdad.
Remember?

30) “Millions of peace activists are demanding we stop
the march to war.”

Millions of Iraqis are begging for us to start the war.

31) “Thousands of innocents will be killed or injured.”

That`s a lot less than Hussein has killed and is killing.

32) “Young Americans will die in battle.”

Would you prefer they die in skyscrapers?

33) “Protesters have genuine objections to war.”

Just like they did in Somalia? Bosnia?

34) “People are coming from all over the world to be
human shields on behalf of Saddam.”

Quick, hurry before the bombs start dropping.

35) “This is about American imperialism.”

So which country do we own? What nation sends us its tax
dollars? If America were imperialist, we`d already own the entire
world. Who could stand in our way?

36) “This is blood for oil.”

The only blood here has been that of Iraqis tortured,
starved and killed while Hussein builds massive palaces to hide
nuclear weapons — all financed with Iraqi oil.

37) “This is a racist war.”

America happily endorses a multicultural attitude toward
anyone who dares to take away our freedom. Regardless of race,
color or creed, we hunt them down and kill them.

38) “A U.S.-led invasion of Iraq is a great recruiting tool
for terrorists.”

Have fun recruiting people into oppressive misery as they
enjoy their first taste of freedom.

39) “An attack on Iraq could seriously undermine and
destabilize Arab nations.”

Destabilize the region? The sooner we topple these
oppressive 14th century terrorist regimes the better.

40) “Are we prepared for a multi-billion dollar
occupation?”

Were we prepared to liberate Europe and Japan in 1945?
South Korea in 1953? Grenada? El Salvador? Kuwait? The
Eastern Bloc? Afghanistan? Nations always love Americans when
we rescue them from tyranny. The price of freedom is never free.

41) “Polls show Americans are more concerned about the
threat from Al Qaeda than the threat from Iraq.”

It`s not a war against Al Qaeda. It`s not a war against Iraq.
It`s a war against terrorism. Anywhere we find it. One nation at a
time.

42) “American opinion is against the war.”

No, it`s not. A majority of Americans want to fight now,
not later.

43) “According to a recent poll...”

You know what? Flush those polls. We`re in a war against
terrorism. If you don`t want to fight the vile murderers, get the hell
out of the way. Go visit Paris. Or Antwerp. Or Berlin. Or
Moscow. And stay there. Forever. But this time, don`t call us
when the Visigoths are at the gates.

Tom Adkins is publisher of the website
CommonConservative.com, where this column originally
appeared.
 






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