A 93-Year-Old Prophecy Comes To Pass
H.L. Mencken (born 1880 - died 1956) was a journalist, satirist, critic and a Democrat. He wrote this editorial while working for the Baltimore Evening Sun, which appeared in the July 26, 1920 edition
"As democracy is perfected, the office of the President represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. On some great and glorious day, the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last and the White House will be occupied by a downright fool and complete narcissistic moron.
H.L. Mencken, The Baltimore Evening Sun,
July 26, 1920
So it was written, and so it has come to pass.
Someone asked me, "...And now that you are retired, do you still have a job?”
I replied, "Yes - I am my wife's sexual adviser.”
Somewhat shocked, they said "I beg your pardon, but what exactly do you mean by that?”
"Very simple. My wife has told me that when she wants my fucking advice, she'll ask me for it."
THE WEDDING DRESS
A woman who had been married three times walked into a bridal shop one day and told the sales clerk that she was looking for a wedding gown for her fourth wedding.
"Of course, madam," replied the sales clerk, "exactly what type and color dress are you looking for?"
The bride-to-be said, "A long frilly white dress with a veil."
"Please don't take this the wrong way, madam, but such dresses are usually more fitting for the first time bride who is more innocent in the ways of life, if you get my meaning."
"WELL!," replied the customer, a little peeved at the clerk's directness,
"I can assure you that a white gown would be quite appropriate. Believe it or not, despite all my marriages, I remain as innocent as a first-time bride.
You see, my first husband was so excited about our wedding, he died as we were checking into our honeymoon hotel.
My second husband and I got into such a terrible fight in the limo on our way to our honeymoon hotel that we had that wedding annulled immediately and never spoke to each other again."
"What about your third husband?"
"That one was a DEMOCRAT", said the woman, "and every night for four years, he just sat on the edge of the bed and told me how great it was going to be, but nothing good ever happened."
APHORISMS FOR THE YEAR...
it's not whether you win or lose,
But how you place the blame.
We have enough "youth".
How about a fountain of "smart"?
A Fool and his money can throw one heck of a party.
When blondes have more fun , do they know it?
LEARN FROM YOUR PARENT'S MISTAKES- - USE BIRTH CONTROL
Money isn't everything,But it sure keeps the kids in touch.
If at first you don't succeed,Skydiving is not for you
We are born naked, wet and hungry.Then, things get worse.
Red meat is not bad for you, Fuzzy green meat is bad for you.
Ninety-nine percent of all lawyers Give the rest a bad name.
Xerox and Wurlitzer will merge
To produce reproductive organs.
Alabama state motto: At least we're not Mississippi
ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE IS NO MATCH FOR NATURAL STUPIDITY.
The latest survey shows that Three out of four people make Up 75% of the population
"I think Politicians should wear uniforms, you know, like NASCAR drivers, so we could Identify their corporate sponsors."
The reason Politicians try so hard to get re-elected is that they would 'hate' to have to make a living under the laws they've passed.