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WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ABOUT "GLOBAL WARMING?"
 I BELIEVE IT'S HAPPENING - WE ACT NOW!
 I REALLY DON'T CARE ONE WAY OR THE OTHER
 IT'S NOT REAL - JUST SCIENTISTS GETTING GRANT MONEY
 IT'S THIS CENTURIES BIGGEST HOAX
 WE CAN'T IMPACT THE ATMOSPHERE!
 WE MUST BE CAUTIOUS - IT COULD BE REAL.
 WHAT'S "GLOBAL WARMING?"
 
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Computer Tech Support For Idiots!

This kind of email can make you feel good or ........you can maybe relate?

Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?

Customer: A white one...

Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon to the left of the screen.

Customer: Your left or my left?

************************

Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Michele, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'canít find printerí.
I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it..

*************************

Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.

Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?

Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.

Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.

Customer: OK

Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?

Customer: Yes

Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in.

*************************

Customer: I can't get on the Internet.

Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?

Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.

Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?

Customer: Five dots.

*************************

Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?

Customer: Netscape.

Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.

Customer: Oh, sorry... Internet Explorer..

*************************

Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.

*************************

Tech support: How may I help you?

Customer: I'm writing my first email.

Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?

Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the little circle around it?

*************************

A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.

Tech support: Are you running it under windows?

Customer: 'No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine.'

************************

And last but not least!

Tech support: 'Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter 'P' to bring up the Program Manager.'

Customer: I don't have a P.

Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.

Customer: What do you mean?

Tech support: 'P'.....on your keyboard, Bob.

Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!
 






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