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Strange Survey
WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ABOUT "GLOBAL WARMING?"
 I BELIEVE IT'S HAPPENING - WE ACT NOW!
 I REALLY DON'T CARE ONE WAY OR THE OTHER
 IT'S NOT REAL - JUST SCIENTISTS GETTING GRANT MONEY
 IT'S THIS CENTURIES BIGGEST HOAX
 WE CAN'T IMPACT THE ATMOSPHERE!
 WE MUST BE CAUTIOUS - IT COULD BE REAL.
 WHAT'S "GLOBAL WARMING?"
 
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Strange Pilot Philosophies

Strange Pilot Philosophies



A check ride ought to be like a skirt.
Short enough to be interesting,
but long enough to cover everything.

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Speed is life. Altitude is life insurance.

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It only takes two things to fly:
Airspeed, and money.

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The three most dangerous things in aviation:
1. A Doctor or Dentist in a Cessna.
2. Two captains in a DC-9.

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Aircraft Identification:
If it's ugly, it's British.
If it's weird, it's French.
If it's ugly and weird, it's Russian.

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Without ammunition, the U.S.A.F. would be just another, very expensive flying club.

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The similarity between air traffic, controllers and pilots?
If a pilot screws up, the pilot dies.
If ATC screws up, the pilot dies.

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The difference between flight attendants and jet engines:
The engines usually quit whining when they get to the gate.

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New FAA motto: 'We're not happy, till you're not happy.'
If Air Traffic Control screws up, it's called a "System Malfunction,"
If a pilot screws up it's called a "violation."

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If something hasn't broken on your helicopter--it's about to.

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I give that landing a 9 ................. on the Richter scale.

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Basic Flying Rules:

1. Try to stay in the middle of the air.
2. Do not go near the edges of it.
3. The edges of the air can be recognized by the appearance
of ground, buildings, sea, trees and interstellar space.
It is much more difficult to fly in the edges.

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Unknown landing signal officer (LSO) to carrier pilot after his sixth unsuccessful landing attempt: "You've got to land here son . . .. this is where the food is."

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The three best things in life are: A good landing,
a good orgasm, and a good bowel movement.
A night carrier landing is one of the few opportunities
to experience all three at the same time.

Submitted by Gundars
 






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