15 Wittiest Groucho Marx Quotes
Julius Henry "Groucho" Marx (October 2, 1890 - August 19, 1977), was an American comedian and film star, famed as a master of wit. He made 15 feature films with his siblings, the Marx Brothers, and also had a successful solo career, most notably as the host of the radio and television game show You Bet Your Life.
1. Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
2. A man's only as old as the woman he feels.
3. One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know.
4. Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
5. Go, and never darken my towels again.
6. I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
7. Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
8. I intend to live forever, or die trying.
9. I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
10. I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
11. I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.
12. If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.
13. In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom.
14. Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
15. My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.
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