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Strange Survey
WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ABOUT "GLOBAL WARMING?"
 I BELIEVE IT'S HAPPENING - WE ACT NOW!
 I REALLY DON'T CARE ONE WAY OR THE OTHER
 IT'S NOT REAL - JUST SCIENTISTS GETTING GRANT MONEY
 IT'S THIS CENTURIES BIGGEST HOAX
 WE CAN'T IMPACT THE ATMOSPHERE!
 WE MUST BE CAUTIOUS - IT COULD BE REAL.
 WHAT'S "GLOBAL WARMING?"
 
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A 'Strange' Christmas Story

A 'Strange' Christmas Story


'Twas the night before Christmas--Old Santa was pissed.


He cussed out the elves and threw down his list.


Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks.


I have a good mind to scrap the whole works!


I've busted my ass for damn near a year,


Instead of "Thanks Santa"--what do I hear?


The old lady bitches cause I work late at night.


The elves want more money--The reindeer all fight.


Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the maids.


Donner is pregnant and Vixen has AIDS.


And just when I thought that things would get better


Those assholes from the IRS sent me a letter,


They say I owe taxes--if that ain't damn funny


Who the hell ever sent Santa Claus any money?


And the kids these days--they all are the pits


They want the impossible--Those mean little shits


I spent a whole year making wagons and sleds


Assembling dolls...Their arms, legs and heads


I made a ton of yo yo's--No request for them,


They want computers and robots...they think - I'm IBM!


Flying through the air...dodging the trees


Falling down chimneys and skinning my knees


I'm quitting this job there's just no enjoyment


I'll sit on my fat ass and draw unemployment.


There's no Christmas this year now you know the reason,


I found me a blonde. I'm going SOUTH for the season

Submitted by Kaspars
 






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