VOL 1649 - NOV. 01, 2017 - Our Strange Brit Pals - You Might Be British IF..............
Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com - This Week's Feature:
November Fun !
Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?
Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"
Strange Quotes and Notes About England:
In London there was no home cooking worthy of the name. When you were in funds you ate out. But only the people whose faces appeared in such publications as Town and Queen could afford to eat in restaurants serving food which would leave them looking and feeling better instead of worse. ~ Clive James (Falling towards England)
In recent years, perhaps encouraged by competition from McDonald’s, the British hamburger has become a credit to the nation. At the time of which I speak, it looked like a scorched beer-coaster or a tenderized disc brake. ~ Clive James (Falling towards England)
England is a very popular foreign country to visit because the people there speak some English. ~ Dave Barry (The only Travel Guide you'll ever need)
England manufactures most of the world's airline food, as well as all the food you ever ate in your junior-high-school cafeteria. ~ Dave Barry (The only Travel Guide you'll ever need)
They have a lot of trouble with pronunciation, because they can't move their jaw muscles, because of malnutrition caused by wisely refusing to eat English food, much of which was designed and manufactured in medieval times during the reign of King Walter the Mildly Disturbed. ~ Dave Barry (Dave Barry Talks Back)
English history consists largely of royal people getting their heads chopped off...Needless to say, this brand of history was a hit with our son. ~ Dave Barry (Dave Barry Talks Back)
I realized why the English are big tea drinkers. Just taste their coffee and you’ll see the reason. ~ Joey Adams (Cindy and I)
When Elizabeth II succeeded to the throne of England the reigning joke was, “Big deal: she got the job through relatives." ~ Joey Adams (Cindy and I)
Today's Featured Humor : -) - You Might Be British IF..............
Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a
Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV.
And the most British thing of all?
Suspicion of all things foreign!
Only in Britain can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
Only in Britain do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
Only in Britain do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a DIET Coke.
Only in Britain do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters.
Only in Britain do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.
Only in Britain do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
Only in Britain are there disabled parking places in front of a skating rink.
NOT TO MENTION...
3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.
142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts.
58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers.
31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in.
19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations were chocolate.
British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after Xmas cracker-pulling accidents.
18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth.
A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years after trying to open bottles of beer with their teeth.
5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out-of-control Scalextric cars.
In 2000 eight Brits were admitted to hospital with fractured skulls incurred whilst throwing up into the toilet.
If youʼre proud to be British, send this on!
Sent to me by Lesley Boulding
Submitted by John Hutchinson
Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix
The Featured Pix Category This Week - SM - MILITARY EQUIPMENT - EXPLOSIONS - ATOMIC BOMB TESTS - HYDROGEN BOMBS
The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week
THE NEXT HORRIBLE STATUE THAT NEEDS TO BE TAKEN DOWN - OSCAR! - http://www.strangepolitics.com/content/item/203802.html
The Featured New Category This Week - SV - CAMPERS - 5TH WHEELS - TENT POP-UPS - TRAILERS - LEISURE FUN
SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT - Because of a number of requests, we are becoming more active of both Twitter, Pinterest and Facebook. We will periodically be Tweeting the latest BEST or Most UNIQUE pictures. WE WOULD LOVE TO HAVE YOU FOLLOWING US!
Please Click here to begin following: https://twitter.com/headstranger
Be Sure to Check Out All of the Recent Additions at the "Strange" Family Websites
********** This message printed on recyclable media*********** (Think about it!)
Visit Often - Tell Your Friends - Never Follow!
Do NOT Reply to this automated e-Letter: E-Mail replies to this message will not be seen.
To Remove E-mail Address - http://www.strangecosmos.com/static/unsubscribe.html