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VOL 1640 - OCT. 01, 2017 - Strange Fun - Rules For Entering Texas

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com - This Week's Feature:

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OCTOBER Fun !


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Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?

Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

http://www.strangecosmos.com/index.html

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Strange Insults About Men & Women:

A woman will lie about anything, just to stay in practice. - Phillip Marlowe

A woman's preaching is like a dog's walking on his hinter legs. It is not done well; but you are surprised to see it done at all. - James Boswell

A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's. She changes it more often. - Oliver Herford

Once a woman has given you her heart you can never get rid of the rest of her body. - John Vanbrugh

The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is. - Helen Rowland

Women are like elephants to me: nice to look at, but I wouldn't want to own one. - W. C. Fields

Women's intuition is the result of millions of years of not thinking. - Rupert Hughes

Behind every great man, there is a surprised woman. - Maryon Pearson

Outside every thin girl is a fat man, trying to get in. - Katharine Whitehorn

Some of my best leading men have been dogs and horses. - Elizabeth Taylor

Strange Insults About Men & Women:

A woman will lie about anything, just to stay in practice. - Phillip Marlowe

A woman's preaching is like a dog's walking on his hinter legs. It is not done well; but you are surprised to see it done at all. - James Boswell

A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's. She changes it more often. - Oliver Herford

Once a woman has given you her heart you can never get rid of the rest of her body. - John Vanbrugh

The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is. - Helen Rowland

Women are like elephants to me: nice to look at, but I wouldn't want to own one. - W. C. Fields

Women's intuition is the result of millions of years of not thinking. - Rupert Hughes

Behind every great man, there is a surprised woman. - Maryon Pearson

Outside every thin girl is a fat man, trying to get in. - Katharine Whitehorn

Some of my best leading men have been dogs and horses. - Elizabeth Taylor

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Today's Featured Humor : -) - Rules For Entering Texas

Rules For Entering Texas


Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.

Let's get this straight. We have one stoplight in town. We stop when it's red. We may even stop when it's yellow.

It's called a 'gravel road'. I drive a pickup truck because I need to.

No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.

They are pigs, cattle, and oil wells. That's what they smell like to you. They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? I-40 and I-10 go east and west, I-35 goes north and south. Pick one.

So you have a sixty-thousand dollar car. We're real impressed. We have quarter-million dollar cotton strippers that we drive three weeks a year.

So every person in every pickup waves. It's called being friendly. Try to understand the concept.

Trucks are made to get dirty. Don't bring your Eddie Bauer Limited Edition to my hunting camp and expect to leave clean on Sunday. It won't happen.

We all started hunting and fishing when we were nine years old. Yeah, well if that cell phone rings while a bunch of doves are coming in,we Will shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.

Go ahead and bring your $800 Orvis Fly Rod. Don't cry to us if a flathead breaks it off at the handle.

We have a name for that little 13-inch trout you fish for---bait.

Yeah, we eat catfish, carp, and crawdads. You really want sushi and caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop.

The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.

Any references to "corn fed" when talking about our women will get you jack-slapped, by our women.

Our women hunt, fish, and drive trucks - because they want to.

Our women are some of the best looking in the country.We open doors for women. That applies to everyone regardless of age.

No, there's no "Vegetarian Special" on the menu. Order steak. Order it rare. Or, you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the two pounds of ham and turkey.

When we fill out a table there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables,and breads. We use three spices- salt, pepper, and Tabasco Sauce.

You bring "Coke" into my house it better be brown, wet, served over ice, and plenty of it. You bring "Mary Jane" to my house she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.

Yeah, we have sweet tea. It comes in a glass with two packets of sugar, some lemon, and a long spoon.

That's right. Whiskey is only two bucks. We can buy a fifth for what you paid for that shot in the airport at New York, Boston, Chicago, or L.A.

High School Football is as important here as the Lakers and the Knicks, and a dang site more fun to watch.

Yeah, we have golf courses. Don't hit in the water hazards - it spooks the fish.

Colleges? Try Texas A&M. They come out of there with an education and a love for God and country, and they still wave at passing pickups when they come home for the holidays.

We have more Navy, Army, Marines, and Air Force than any other state, so, "Don't Mess With Texas". If you do it will get your butt kicked by the best!

Our Military is only used as a back up. Per capita, each man, woman, and child owns at least two firearms and has taken a NRA Certified Shooter Education Course.

Also, remember what Governor Sam Houston once said, "Texas can make it without the United States, but the United States can't make it without Texas.

Submitted by Iron Mike

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Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

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DARWIN AWARD WINNER - DAN BRANDON SNAKE HANDLER FOUND STRANGLED - HIS 20 FT BURMESE PYTHON FOUND NEARBY ! DUH! - http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/item/203609.html

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The Featured Pix Category This Week - SF - H - FARM ANIMALS - PONDS & LAKES - TURTLES - FROGS - TOADS - FISH - ETC

http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/category/100759_1.html

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The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

Dear Senator Wyden - How Do I Switch From US Citizen To Illegal Alien - http://www.strangemedical.com/content/item/203629.html

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The Featured New Category This Week - SZ - STRANGE MUTANTS & ALBINO ANIMALS - All Kinds - Big & Small

http://www.strangezoo.com/content/category/100905_1.html

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