VOL 1564 - JAN. 01, 2017 - New Year Resolutions for Pets
Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com -
Happy New Year!
A Few New Years Eve Toasts for your pals!
The Lord gives our relatives,
Thank God we can choose our friends.
Here’s to a long life and a merry one
A quick death and an easy one
A pretty girl and an honest one
A cold beer and another one!
May you never lie, cheat, or drink.
But if you must lie, lie in each other's arms.
If you must cheat, cheat death.
And if you must drink, drink with all of us
because we love you.
May we live to learn well, and learn to live well.
May you live as long as you want,
and never want as long as you live.
Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?
Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"
Strange "Father Time" Quotes:
Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils. - Hector Berlioz
Being rich is having money; being wealthy is having time. - Margaret Bonnano
Time is the substance from which I am made. Time is a river which carries me along, but I am the river; it is a tiger that devours me, but I am the tiger; it is a fire that consumes me, but I am the fire. - Jorge Louis Borges
Men talk of killing time, while time quietly kills them. - Dion Boucicault
Oh Time! the beautifier of the dead, adorer of the ruin, comforter and only healer when the heart hath bled... Time, the avenger! - Lord Byron
One life - a little gleam of Time between two Eternities. - Thomas Carlyle
Take care of the minutes, for the hours will take care of themselves. - Lord Chesterfield
Today's Featured Humor : -) - New Year's Resolutions for Pets
New Year Resolutions for Pets
15. I will not eat other animals' poop.
14. I will not lick my human's face after eating animal poop.
13. I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table.
12. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
11. I will no longer be beholden to the sound of the can opener.
10. Cats: Circulate a petition that sleeping become a juried competition in major animal shows.
9. Come to understand that cats are from Venus; dogs are from Mars.
8. Take time from busy schedule to stop and smell the behinds.
7. Hamster: Don't let them figure out I'm just a rat on steroids, or they'll flush me!
6. Get a bite in on that freak who gives me that shot every year.
5. Grow opposable thumb; break into pantry; decide for MYSELF how much food is *too* much.
4. Cats: Use new living room sofa as scratching post.
3. January 1st: Kill the sock! Must kill the sock!
January 2nd - December 31: Re-live victory over the sock.
2. The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff.
AND the Number 1 New Year's Resolutions Made by Pets...
1. I will NOT chase the stick until I see it LEAVE THE IDIOT'S HAND
Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix
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STRANGE CHRISTMAS PRESENTS- ORDERED GIRLFRIEND COSTUME BLANKET - CAME IN WITH WRONG FAMILY ON IT! - http://www.strangecollege.comcontent/item/200758.html
STRANGE ROCKS AND MINERALS - GEODE BEEF BURRITO! - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/200759.html
STRANGE ROCK-N-ROLL STARS - DAVID BOWIE - 1973 - ALADDIN SANE TOUR OUTFIT - RIP - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/200760.html
STRANGE FASHION PROBLEMSAST - http://www.strangeamericans.com/content/item/200761.html
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STRANGE CHRISTMAS FUN - THESE DRESSED UP DOGS ARE REALLY GLAD CHRISTMAS IS OVER! - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/200763.html
STRANGE NEW YEARS MILLENNIALS FUN - THE GYM IN DECEMBER AND ALSO JANUARY! - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/200764.html
The Featured Pix Category This Week - * COOL - Airplanes - Unique - Strange - Neat Stuff
The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week
20 Most Epic Celebrity Trump Meltdowns of 2016 - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/200745.html
New Years History - http://www.strangegolf.com/content/item/159171.html
Santa Downsizing - Christmas Cutbacks - http://www.strangepolitics.com/content/item/197717.html
New Years Resolutions For Internet Junkies - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/23769.html
New Years Eve Hangover Cures - http://www.strangesports.com/content/item/25283.html
Strange But Pithy Sayings - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/content/item/186254.html
The Featured New Category This Week - Work, Job, Corporate - Boss Jokes & Business Humor
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