Search

Search Type:

Today's News and Humor
70 Staff Members ill After Department of Health Luncheon
Pure Genius! Oregon Ranchers Respond To Government Request To Survey Their Property About a Yellow-Legged Frog
20 Most Epic Celebrity Trump Meltdowns of 2016
A View From Ireland About Trump victory
Seattle Employees Demand Reduced Hours Because They Got Their Demand For a Higher Minimum Wage! More Left Wing Lunacy!



Special Images and Pictures
* COOL - Airplanes - Unique - Strange - Neat Stuff
* MILITARY - 9-11-01 - Funny - Patriotic - Pixs
* CELEBRITIES - Movies - TV Shows - POP STARS
* SPORTS - Baseball - Football - Soccer - Gymnastics - Swimming - NASCAR - Crazy Fans!
* MILITARY EQPMT Air Force - Navy - Army - Marines


Strange Survey
WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ABOUT "GLOBAL WARMING?"
 I BELIEVE IT'S HAPPENING - WE ACT NOW!
 I REALLY DON'T CARE ONE WAY OR THE OTHER
 IT'S NOT REAL - JUST SCIENTISTS GETTING GRANT MONEY
 IT'S THIS CENTURIES BIGGEST HOAX
 WE CAN'T IMPACT THE ATMOSPHERE!
 WE MUST BE CAUTIOUS - IT COULD BE REAL.
 WHAT'S "GLOBAL WARMING?"
 
View Previous Surveys




VOL 1555 - NOV 30, 2016 - Strange Music Guide - Singing the Blues - The Do's and Don'ts

Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com - This Week's Feature:

---------------------------------------


NOVEMBER FUN!


------------------------

Are you ready to review the Best Humor, Coolest Pix and Political Parody on the Internet?

Get ready to jump into something "Strange!"

http://www.strangecosmos.com/index.html

------------------------

==================================

Strange Quotes About the Media:

News is what somebody somewhere wants to suppress; all the rest is advertising. (Lord Northcliffe)

You can fool all of the people all of the time if the advertising is right and the budget is big enough. (Joseph E. Levine)

Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some hire public relations officers. (Daniel J. Boorstin)

There's no such thing as bad publicity except your own obituary. (Brendan Behan)

In the future everybody will be world famous for fifteen minutes. (Andy Warhol)

Small earthquake in Chile. Not many dead. (Claud Cockburn, winning entry for a dullest headline competition at the Times)

==================================

Today's Featured Humor : -) - - Singing the Blues - The Do's and Don'ts

THE WHYS AND WHEREFORES OF THE BLUES:


If you're new to Blues music, or you like it but never really understood the whys and wherefores, here are some very fundamental rules:


1. Most Blues begin with: "Woke up this morning..."


2. "I got a good woman" is a bad way to begin the Blues, unless you stick something nasty in the next line like, "I got a good woman, with the meanest face in town."


3. The Blues is simple. After you get the first line right, repeat it. Then, find something that rhymes -- sort of:


Got a good woman with the meanest face in town.

Yes, I got a good woman with the meanest face in town.

Got teeth like Margaret Thatcher and she weigh 500 pound."


4. The Blues is not about choice. "You stuck in a ditch, you stuck in a ditch...ain't no way out."


5. Blues cars: Chevys, Fords, Cadillacs, and broken-down trucks.

Blues don't travel in Volvos, BMWs, or Sport Utility Vehicles.

Most Blues transportation is a Greyhound bus or a southbound train. Jet aircraft and state-sponsored motor pools ain't even in the running. Walkin' plays a major part in the Blues lifestyle. So does fixin' to die.


6. Teenagers can't sing the Blues. They ain't fixin' to die yet.

Adults sing the Blues. In Blues, "adulthood" means being old enough to get the electric chair if you shoot a man in Memphis.


7. Blues can take place in New York City, but not in Hawaii or anywhere in Canada. Hard times in Minneapolis or Seattle are probably just clinical depression. Chicago, St. Louis, Kansas City, Memphis, and N'awlins are still the best places to have the Blues. You cannot have the Blues in any place that don't get rain.


8. A man with male pattern baldness ain't the Blues. A woman with male pattern baldness is. Breaking your leg 'cause you were skiing is not the Blues. Breaking your leg 'cause a alligator be chomping on it is.


9. You can't have no Blues in an office or a shopping mall. The lighting is wrong. Go outside to the parking lot or sit by the dumpster.


10. Good places for the Blues:

a. highway,
b. jailhouse,
c. empty bed,
d. bottom of a whiskey glass.


11. Bad places for the Blues:

a. Nordstrom's,
b. gallery openings,
c. Ivy League institutions,
d. golf courses.


12. No one will believe it's the Blues if you wear a suit, less you happen to be an old person, and you slept in it.


13. Do you have the right to sing the Blues? Yes, if:

a. you're older than dirt,
b. you're blind,
c. you shot a man in Memphis,
d. you can't be satisfied.

No, if:

a. you have all your teeth,
b. you were once blind but now can see,
c. the man in Memphis lived,
d. you have a 401 K or trust fund.


14. Blues is not a matter of color. It's a matter of bad luck. Tiger Woods cannot sing the Blues. Sonny Liston could have. Ugly white people also got a leg up on the Blues.


15. If you ask for water and your darlin' gives you gasoline, it's the Blues. Other acceptable Blues beverages are:
a. cheap wine,
b. whiskey or bourbon,
c. muddy water,
d. black coffee.

The following are NOT Blues beverages:

a. Perrier,
b. Chardonnay,
c. Snapple,
d. Slim Fast.


16. If death occurs in a cheap motel or a shotgun shack, it's a Blues death. Stabbed in the back by a jealous lover is another Blues way to die. So are the electric chair, substance abuse, and dying lonely on a broken-down cot.

You can't have a Blues death if you die during a tennis match or while getting liposuction.


17. Some Blues names for women:

a. Sadie,
b. Big Mama,
c. Bessie,
d. Jennie.


18. Some Blues names for men:
a. Joe,
b. Willie,
c. Little Willie,
d. Big Willie.


19. Persons with names like Michelle, Amber, Jennifer, Debbie, and Heather can't sing the Blues no matter how many men they shoot in Memphis.


20. Blues Name Starter Kit:

a. name of physical infirmity (Blind, Cripple, Lame, etc.),
b. first name (see above) plus name of fruit (Lemon, Lime, Peach, etc.),
c. last name of President (Jefferson, Johnson, Fillmore, etc.).

For example: Blind Lemon Jefferson, Pegleg Lime Johnson, or Cripple Peach Fillmore, etc.


21. I don't care how tragic your life is; if you own a computer, you cannot sing the blues, period. Sorry.

==================================

Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix

==================================

DISASTER - FIRST CAR BUILT USING COMMON CORE MATH! - http://www.strangepolitics.com/content/item/200348.html

STRANGE OPTICAL ILLUSIONS - WILD WATER REFRACTION! - http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/200358.html

AMAZING STACK OF LUMBER 5 STORIES TALL - LOGGING DURING THE OLDE DAYS! - http://www.strangebusiness.com/content/item/200359.html

MILITARY DANGERS - NAVY SHIP HEELS OVER DURING HELICOPTER REFUEL! - http://www.strangefunvideos.com/content/item/200360.html

CELEBRITY DOG FUN - KIM CORGDASHIAN - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/200363.html

CLEVER PRODUCT PACKAGING - PASTA FORMS LADIES HAIRDOS ! - http://www.strangevacations.com/content/item/200361.html

MILLENNIALS - STRANGE BUSINESS FUN - SPECIAL BATMAN CAKE FOR DEPARTING INTERN - LOW EXPECTATIONS - http://www.strangepersons.com/content/item/200362.html

STRANGE JEWELRY - AMAZING FLYING DRAGON EARRING - http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/item/200364.html

STRANGE COINS - FROM BENIN A LEAF SHAPED COIN! - http://www.strangetrucks.com/content/item/200366.html

STRANGE PARKING LOT DANGERS - LADY SNEAKING UPDATED TICKET GETS KNOCKED DOWN BY GATE ARM! BY - http://www.strangevehicles.com/content/item/200365.html

MY FAVORITE NHL PLAY THIS WEEK - HOCKEY PLAYER FLIPS TEAMMATES STICK UP WITH HIS STICK AT FULL SPEED! - http://www.strangemedical.com/content/item/200369.html

STRANGE OLD FAST FOOD IDEAS - KFC BEEF AND HAM WASN'T SUCCESSFUL! - http://www.strangecollege.comcontent/item/200370.html

STRANGE OLDE COWBOY STARS - GENE AUTRY THE SINGING COWBOY - WITH HIS HORSE TRAILER - http://www.strangeoldepictures.com/content/item/200372.html

STRANGE PLAY SETS - STAR WARS RETURN OF THE JEDI SWING SET WITH ELEVATED & ARMED COMMAND MODULE - http://www.strangeblondes.com/content/item/200373.html

STRANGE WEAPONS - DIAMOND RING BRASS KNUCKLES SET - DANGEROUS! - http://www.strangeamericans.com/content/item/200374.html

STRANGE HAIR FUN - HUGE BOW TIE CREATED FROM MANS BEARD! - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/200324.html

==================================

The Featured Pix Category This Week -

content/category/100031_1.html

==================================

The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week

Strange Myths and Misconceptions - No Swimming For An Hour After You Eat - http://www.strangegolf.com/content/item/173229.html

The Top 9 Worst College Nicknames - http://www.strangeracer.com/content/item/173443.html

Strange English - Longest Words - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/173824.html

Strange Baseball Facts - http://www.strangemilitary.com/content/item/174511.html

==================================

The Featured New Category This Week - Work, Job, Corporate - Boss Jokes & Business Humor

http://www.strangefunkidz.com/content/category/119_1.html

==================================

SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT - Because of a number of requests, we are becoming more active of both Twitter, Pinterest and Facebook. We will periodically be Tweeting the latest BEST or Most UNIQUE pictures. WE WOULD LOVE TO HAVE YOU FOLLOWING US!

Please Click here to begin following: https://twitter.com/headstranger
https://www.facebook.com/pages/StrangeCosmosAcom/278654660263

http://www.pinterest.com/headstranger/boards/

------------------------------------------------------------

Be Sure to Check Out All of the Recent Additions at the "Strange" Family Websites


==========================

********** This message printed on recyclable media*********** (Think about it!)

Visit Often - Tell Your Friends - Never Follow!

#1 Stranger


Do NOT Reply to this automated e-Letter: E-Mail replies to this message will not be seen.

To Remove E-mail Address - http://www.strangecosmos.com/static/unsubscribe.html




The Strange Family




© 2017 StrangeCosmos.com
Read our Privacy Policy

StrangeCosmos.com StrangeVehicles.com StrangeZoo.com StrangePolitics.com StrangePersons.com
StrangeSports.com StrangeCelebrities.com StrangeMilitary.com StrangeDangers.com StrangePolice.com
StrangeBusiness.com StrangeFunKidz.com StrangeTravel.com StrangeAmericans.com StrangeFarmer.com
StrangeCollege.com StrangeOldePictures.com StrangeRacer.com StrangeBlondes.com StrangeGolf.com
StrangeVacations.com StrangeFunVideos.com StrangeMedical.com    

Disclaimer: We do our best to avoid copyrighted material. If anything on this site has been copyrighted by you, please contact us so we can remove it or give you credit!