VOL 1554 - NOV 27, 2016 - Funny Things Said by Police
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"Golden, Ripe, Boneless Bananas, 39 Cents A Pound." - Ad in the "Missoulian" by Orange Street Food Farm
"Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing - but none of them serious." - Alan Minter, Boxer
"I think that the film Clueless was very deep. I think it was deep in the way that it was very light. I think lightness has to come from a very deep place if it's true lightness." - Alicia Silverstone, Actress
"How to store your baby walker: First, remove baby." - Anonymous Manufacturer
"This is no longer a slum neighborhood. I haven't heard of a Cubs fan being shot in a long time." - Anonymous Wrigley Field Neighbor, Chicago, IL
"During the scrimmage, Tarkanian paced the sideline with his hands in his pockets while biting his nails." - AP report describing Fresno State basketball coach Jerry Tarkanian
"Two grand slams in a week - man, that's seven or eight ribbies right there." - Bill Madlock, Baseball broadcaster
"Men, I want you just thinking of one word all season. One word and one word only: Super Bowl." - Bill Peterson, football coach
Today's Featured Humor : -) - Funny Things Said by Police
Funny Things Said by Police
1. I'm sorry Ma'am, but with the unlicensed gun in your purse plus the DWI, you ARE a real criminal.
2. Hey John, get out of the cruiser and come over here to say "Thank You." We stopped the guy who pays OUR salary!
3. Yeah, I do have bank robbers to catch, but that might be dangerous, so I'm going to play it safe and write you this ticket.
4. Hurry it up? Sure, I'll just go back to the cruiser and write the citation. Do you have food and water in the car? This shouldn't take more than six hours.
5. Do you know why I stopped you, or do you THINK like you Drive?
6. What do you mean I won't believe you? Just because you've got three kilos of smack and two bodies in the trunk doesn't mean there isn't a perfectly reasonable explanation.
7. No, you've got that WRONG. I'm even TOUGHER without the badge and gun.
8. Of course you didn't DO it. You just happened to start your wind sprints in front of the department store, the VCR is extra weight, and the security guards were providing MOTIVATION.
9. She STARTED it? That's the best you can do? My four-year-old does better than that when I ask why his sister is crying.
10. HAVE A NICE DAY.
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